tidiness

tidied my room today; came across this, scribbled on a piece of paper:

if i have an inkling of doubt in my mind as to whether i can [with His help] stop this persistant sinning or not, then asking for God's help still implies that satan's hold on me must be greater than His. i have a choice to say "help me" and "i promise not to", or "i'll go it alone" and "i'll try not to".
similarly, unless i am willing to let God blame Jesus for all my failings, unless i do that, i'll never be forgiven. and if i am forgiven, i am no longer a "repetative sinner", and if i still see myself as such, then i have not truly turned, or truly believed that God has the power to transform my life.

this may be theologically iffy (tell me!), and I definitely would word it better now, but there you go.
blog 2.